Stressin’ Out.. Again!

My summer is flying by, I mean flying! Cash completed his first year of preschool and I haven’t even had time to write about it (soon, I hope). Every day is filled to the brim with to dos and then I just crash come bed time! Weekends are filled with either birthday parties or photo sessions, Cash’s birthday is very quickly approaching and I haven’t booked a vacation yet! I have a list in front of me that has several big to dos on it such as party planning, vacation, disks to finish, and a garage sale.. Aye yah ya.. I knew May & June would be hectic for me. I just don’t feel like my summer “vacation” is here! Oh but it is and it’s flying by me in a flash. But I do love every minute. I’ve always been one to fit in as much possible but sometimes I can only be stretched so thin!

I’ve been having the party conversation with my husband for months, months people! It’s less than three weeks away and not even one invitation has been ordered or sent. I originally didn’t want to do a big party but we’ve been attending birthday parties at least once a week since December. So I can’t leave my boy out :) He loves them so much, he needs his own! I kept telling my husband with hopes that he’d take over the reigns and get some of the big stuff out of the way. But nope, in one ear and out the other I think, because this is definitely last minute. I just haven’t had time to soley focus on a party. It’s not going to be heavily decorated but that’s ok. I just don’t have the time and energy to go all out. I do think it will be just enough and he’ll have fun all the same.

We usually go on vacation with my sister and her family but this year they’ve decided not to go. Sad face :( My niece has a summer full of events and has chosen to stay back and keep her schedule busy, thus no time for vacation! We’re really going to miss them. It’s the only time that the kids get to spend real, quality time with each other for a period of time. So now we’re left on our own and have no destination in mind. I can’t imagine not sharing a condo, laying on the beach and playing in the pool together, sneaking away for a quick shopping adventure or getting all ready to have a nice dinner together. Boo! Not to mention, the children are great entertainment for one another. Built in babysitters :)

I literally feel like I’m drowning in to dos but it’ll get done, days will pass but I just want to stop and breathe. I ran into a friend the other day and she was talking about how her pastor mentioned once that maybe the Lord has time on fast forward (since the world is so corrupt). I’ve given that much thought and maybe so, because no matter how much or how little I do, I still feel like time is flying by and it’s hard to keep up! J’s grandmother died a few weeks ago, unexpectedly and I just thought how as a young family our schedules are so full and hectic that we don’t take the time to spend with our loved ones as much as we should and that they’ve lived this busy age but in their time of life now, they just sit around and thrive on spending time with people.. Just a little thought for the day :)

I’m off to do some party planning while I have a quiet second, then probably an afternoon of editing, cleaning, dinner and hopefully a very quick workout to undo the two chocolate sundaes I had this weekend!

 

Blog Lovin’

I started this post days ago, walked away from the computer, came in the next day and pressed that little red ‘x’, thinking to myself “I’ll just write something else later.” A few days passed and here I am again, writing the same post   I seriously think it has something to do with my blog crushin’. I spend way too much time engulfed in pictures and posts on the web and do my best to disconnect often enough to live my own life. I find so much inspiration through these parts, it’s hard to tear myself away. I’m always amazed at people’s creativity and awesomeness (yes, it’s a word.. today anyway) and sit and wonder to myself how I can achieve such greatness. It’s hard not to compare yourself, your parenting, decorating, crafting, culinary skills, etc to all of the best of the best that’s right in front of our face and especially when they make it seem SO easy! I just have to remind myself that I am me, I do the best I can do and like everyone else, strive to do a little better.

My favorite blogs trickle through many, just depending on what I’m loving in the moment. Lately, I just can’t help but to be inspired and in awe by one particular blog. I have crushed on it many times before. How can you not? The effortless beauty, the heartfelt words, the love of life they show, their faith, the adorable babies,  it’s pretty easy to get swallowed up over there. Ahh, the music.. Love her playlist. It’s about as serene as it gets. I desperately need to download these tunes for myself so that I can plug in and disconnect from the stresses of life. I’m not going to lie, I even completed a much dreaded assignment while leaving her tab open, just so I could listen to the music.

But what made me write this post again? This post. I loved life prior to being a mother, but my zest for life moved into a different realm when he was born. I became someone else. My world revolves around my son and in everything I do, I try to make his little world better. God gave me this boy for a reason and I want to give him the best that a mother can give. Sure, there are moments in every day where I’d love to have a bit of peace and quiet in each day, but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade this for anything. There are tantrums, mini disasters and many parenting fails but he is who I am. So today as I surfed through my blog list, during my precious nap time minutes, and stumbled upon this, I felt right at home. She puts into words how I feel and inspires me to write more, so that one day my family will know in words, just how much I love them.

“I may not be able to play music or sing or write songs- but you can bet your darndest that my kiddos will have this space as theirs.

Long after I am gone they can read through the pages of what they did to my soul.

How they changed me, how they made me better and added more than I knew they could”

Dieting

Ugh?! People say that losing weight is 80% nutrition and only 20% exercise. Then why the heck do I spend so much of my precious time sweating to nearly death and think that it’s most beneficial to losing weight? I’ve said before that my weight has not decreased since Cash was 6 weeks old. I’ve tried and tried, from running 3-4 days a week (2-3+ miles each time), tracking my food and adding in some strength training classes, it just won’t budge. J says that I’m just not built to weigh less :) I have to disagree! My body shape has changed but the scales won’t go down. Notice I keep saying won’t go down, not that they won’t change, oh because they do! That pestering number has gone UP! I attribute it to muscle, yes I do, but still! Maybe I’ve just accustomed myself to eating a little more and can’t give that up. Usually I go to bed hungry, trying to cut back but it doesn’t help either (I eat dinner, just not over indulge).

The one thing that has always worked for me is weight watchers. They have a new plan since I did it years ago. I decided to start counting points again and see if that would help jumpstart some loss. It’s hard going by the old system and not knowing the ropes of the new one. I plan on maybe going to one meeting or joining online to try and get the details in order. I just want to lose 10 pounds. Yes, I’d love to lose more but I don’t want to have to buy new clothes and don’t want to be anywhere that I couldn’t maintain.

It isn’t easy! Today is day 2, and banking on the fact that my calculations are correct for my homemade lunch, I’m right on track for the day but not allowed a snack and I’m already starving. lol! I’ve got to find some energy somewhere since I plan on getting in some cardio this afternoon.

But why is it so hard? Why can’t exercise be the most beneficial to weight loss? I don’t feel like I eat terribly bad. We don’t eat candy or keep any type of sweets in the house. I bake only on rare occasion and don’t drink a lot of real soft drinks (my weakness is tea but I order it half sweet and half unsweet). I love carbs though, I’ll take them over any type of meat any day.

Do you struggle with this? I love going to the gym for the ‘after’ feelings, those good endorphins, but I sure use a lot of my time there when it could be spent at home if losing weight is mostly about eating right. Whew, what a struggle!

Easter 2012

Hey guys! It’s kinda sad when you go to write a blog post and realize that you have way more drafts than you do actual posts. But at least I tried, right?!

Anyway, warmer days appeared much sooner than we anticipated and we’ve been enjoying the great outdoors. I’ve even skipped my usual routines for a few extra hours of guy time outdoors. We’ve blown bubbles, found worms, ran circles, taken *some* pictures, ya know-the usual.

  Easter has once again come and gone. Was it just me or were the stores seriously lacking in Easter wear this year? And what is the hype about having to buy all new outfits, head to toe? Is it because for some people, it’s the only day of the year they go? I don’t know, I’ll bite though. I grew up always enjoying the hunt for special dresses and accessories. With a family, it’s much more fun! (these days anyway, C has a certain obsession with baseball or Mickey shirts-I have to hide them or he won’t wear anything else!) We enjoyed several egg hunts-1 at preschool, 2- at my mom’s church, no pictures because J took him, I was taking pictures for someone. 3- the husband’s fam and 4-my family. We also dyed eggs, well I dyed them while C was enamored with the little metal egg holder. He wasn’t going anywhere near that colored dye this year. lol!

Speaking of no Easter egg dying, this is an age of fearfulness. I guess they grow more aware of their surroundings, causes and effects and are generally more apprehensive until they get used to new ideas. I’ve come to the conclusion that no age is easier, just different. Different battles all together. Still love my little guy to pieces though. He’s my heart and definitely my side kick. I don’t know how we’ll ever shake of one another, you know, separate for more than 8 or so hours...  

Back to Easter, here are a few pics since I’m not feeling so creative today in writing. It’s been a super long, but productive day. I couldn’t sleep past 5, we had an appointment for the next step with speech therapy, I went to school and had to register for next semester <—bittersweet face. Oh and btw, so I also don’t forget details-Cash “passed” all of his assessments and doesn’t require for any more services so speech therapy will end at his 3rd birthday. It’s also bittersweet.. We will miss our therapist and she’s helped him SO much. His speech has improved tons but his articulation is still lacking, we have just 2 more months to work on it with her.

  Hunting at Preschool:

 

Look at that sweet profile! Looking mighty curious

 

 

             He stayed true to his nature. He didn’t care so much about how much he could pick up but rather, what was in there! I’m still feeling the effects of all the candy. I’ve eaten more candy in the week than I do all year (just not a candy girl, give me the cake please!).

                               

 

Seeing what’s inside at Mamo’s. I don’t have a lot of pictures because I was pictured out on this day..

 

Egg hunt with my fam. My how this group has changed! S-the oldest girl used to be the baby of the hunters, alongside my now teenage niece and nephew and other nephew who’s almost a teenager. They didn’t participate, nor were they even there. Now there’s a new set of babes and it’s kind of sad knowing how fast they’ll grow up and there’ll be no more hunts!

 

All dressed up for Easter. His suit still had an ink tag on it that I noticed on um, Saturday morning! Luckily a local store had the same system and removed it for me. I was not happy about having to give up my Easter plans and travel an hour away to the original store to have it removed. And his pants were too long. lol. I should’ve tried the pants on before then, but ya know..

 

Our family.. Awful picture and not our good “sides.” lol! I almost want to get dressed again to have a do over. Don’t put it past me!

Happy March!

Well I went a whole month without blogging! Doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it, I did, just had so many other things to mark off my to-do list, that “this” never got accomplished. I don’t know if I spoke about how much homework I have this semester, but it’s no joke. Both professors believe that for every hour of present, in class time, there should be 3 hours of homework. It’s like they are punishing us for being students and taking the fun out of learning. I know, I should want to learn that much instead of cramming it in at the last minute, but there’s too much life experience I want more. Especially these days, lately there has been so much heartache around us that it really makes you stop in your tracks and soak up the moments you have, fearful that at ANY second, they can be snatched away… Just gotta have faith people! It’s hard to do sometimes.

From the very start of the semester as I mentioned before, I wished it was the last day. This semester has drained me in every way. I’m just not present there. I’m in a hard place with school and I just have to push through. Thankfully the high ticket price of classes keeps me going. I’m coming up on a week long break and I’m a little more than ecstatic about it. I look forward to the days off, even if they are filled with boring, awful things such as playing catch up with my dentist<----been way too long! I look forward to not feeling guilty if I want to call in a sitter for a few “me” hours of running errands or doing something I’ve put off. I really hope to get a good deep clean in the house and purge some more stuff, we have too much!! But I’m sure like the rest of the days and weeks, it’s going to go by way too fast!!

This warm weather and the break from the normal cycle of life has me itching for spring and summer. I’m so ready for the longer, lazier days of life. Longing for sunset playdates, outdoor exercises with my buddies, shopping dates with my besties, a chance to breathe, the beautiful blooming flowers, the chance to spend time outdoors and redo our flower beds and give the house some tlc. Just be able to do without having to be accountable to something else. I gotta admit though, I’m going to really, really miss being able to drop Cash off at preschool. It’s good for both of us! This is the good part of day care.. However, we have a family friend that has reached the baby sitting age and shhh, don’t tell the grandparents, but we’ve already promised her a few jobs this summer!

Well I hope you’re enjoying whatever “beautiful” weather that you’ve been blessed with. Hopefully I will make blogging a habit or a priority again soon. I certainly need to, it’s pretty much my only way of documenting things and I am so, so bad about that. More to come!

Break time & Training Me!

   I know, random post title.. Just bare with me here. It’s one of those days where I just wanted to wake up, go makeup-less, throw on my sweats and walk out of the door. I am exhausted lately and am in serious need of a time out. Not one of those where life goes on around you. I sort of need a kind where life pauses and I accomplish my to-dos and take a mini break and then hit the play button. Because, let’s face it, if I were to take that time out and time revolve too, I’d come back to a bigger mess than already is :)

   Between my schedule at school this semester, work, busy little boy, and all of other life adventures, I don’t have a day off all week. It adds up… quickly. Some of it is by choice, like the one to work out 3-4 days a week. It keeps me sane. And if I took time off, I’d be further behind than I already am, not that I’m any where near ahead :) Sometimes I wonder why I have to work so hard to get to one little goal, is it worth it? But the mental benefits of working out alone is worth the time sacrifice. Well, at least that’s what I keep telling myself!

  Ah, then there’s the little boy, who sure is cute but here lately is into everything! I know, I know, I say that all the time. It’s the truth. Never think they can’t get any busier and can’t create a bigger mess, because they can prove you wrong. He’s one cute reason why I can NEVER get ahead in the cleaning department. I am constantly wiping down surfaces only to turn around and see handprints behind me or picking up toys only to find another pile in the next room. I make the bed and fold the clothes only to find a pile past the top of the washer and dryer that are begging to be washed and also put away. Dinner to be made, a fridge to be cleaned out and the never ending pile of dishes to be cleaned or put away. And the bathroom, didn’t I just wipe the counter down yesterday? And scrub the toilets? Speaking of…. do you have hard water stains? HOW do you get rid of them???? I have tried clorox, CLR, and all other sorts of stuff and they will not rub off! What gives?! Please share any tips you may have for this!

  AHHHH lately I feel like I’m drowning in to dos! It doesn’t help when someone (not naming names because maybe they really don’t mean any harm) who’s at our house often makes the comment about how it’s like a Target because we have so much stuff (mostly toys). When in reality, toys is the one area where I purge often because they pile up quickly and I’m convinced that toys is a huge marketing ploy because kids don’t really play with them!

  And then there’s blogland, where reading too much and exploring too much will land you in places that make you feel even more behind because they seem to have it all together. Yeah, I’m talking about those people who even have their underwear and dirty clothes folded and neatly stacked away. I am a hoarder begging inside to be an organizer. It’s a battle of personalities here and unfortunately the hoarder wins most of them. But you know all of this, I’ve shown you my closet :) I’m convinced that the organizer would win if I actually had time and wasn’t trying to be a jackie of all trades.

  So I told my wonderful husband, who really has been a wonderful husband, father, housekeeper (for him, you know I can still find 1000 things to do), that I just needed a break. Maybe I’ll go home today to a super cleaned home.. haha!

Enough of that though.. Let’s catch up on little boy (I keep typing baby boy but need to face reality… 3 is on the horizon so I need to get used to this “little”). The 3 things I have dreaded during this second year has been the transition to the toddler bed, the pippy weaning and potty training. I have dreaded since he fell in love with his “pippy” from the beginning on how I would ever take it away. After his sickness, he gave it up on his own. Just like weaning him from nursing-it hurt me more than him. Over the summer, he started climbing out of his crib so we immediately changed his bed over and now we’re on potty training. For several months now he’d go to the potty if we took him but he’d never tell us when he needed to go. Then he started telling us as he was doing it or when it was too late. Now he tells us before and many, many times when he doesn’t have to, he just likes to sit on the potty. This probably has been the worst for me. I hate public restrooms with a passion, like almost phobic, seriously. Now I have to introduce my little boy to it, it’s almost giving me panic attacks. We go off and he wants to go potty and I’m begging him to use his diaper. hahaha! He’s training me, just like he has with everything else. I really need to take the time and just go full time potty training to get him out of diapers, but I’m scared. :)

Slow Down..Speed Up

It’s Monday, the dreaded day back to reality after a short, but fun weekend. We all wish Mondays would speed on to Fridays and then Sundays would slow down. But in reality, we really want it all to slow down because life just goes by too fast sometimes. And often I’m left wondering where in the world time went?!

School started back this week and I’m already struggling. It’s all in my mind, I know. My heart just isn’t in the game this semester. I’m SO close to finally achieving something and just like last time, with my nursing degree, I get fearful and want to stop. Time is flying by and I’m getting older, it’s high time I finish college and have something to show for it (especially with my way.too.many.hours to count). Ugh, why is it so hard? I just feel like the only things I’m confident in and know is being a mommy and a good wife. I can juggle a few other things but school is a struggle. I can never decide if it’s my age (which is crazy, there are older people than me still hanging in those hallways) or lack of confidence in myself or lack of surety in career choice. I’ve always just expected a “sign” or a feeling to direct me into a right path. I pray about it all the time... I really, really do want to finish. I want to have that career, contribute to my family, sense of accomplishment. Was it this hard for you at some point in time? You know that feeling when once you start something and in the middle it gets a little frustrating but you’re so close to the end, you’ve got to finish feeling? I kinda feel like that’s where I’m at.

So this is me being vulnerable, being real. Pray for me this week as I hunker down and get back into the studying mode and the student mindset. As I really, really just want to withdraw from the semester and take a mental break. But in reality, if I do that, I’m just that much more behind. Hopefully I’ll have a good update towards the end of the week!